Dreams of Australia
The mother of a child with special needs whose daughter was
often called inspirational for behaving like other children, once lamented:
‘People seem to think these children raise themselves.’
We
never intended to adopt a child, let alone one with a life threatening skin
disorder like Harlequin Ichthyosis,
which makes the skin grow at a super-abnormal rate. We were told nothing
and were unprepared for everything. We were only volunteers wanting to do some
good and have some fun.
Our book shares the story of how two ordinary people saving
to start a new life and a birth family in Australia came to adopt and raise an
abandoned child with a rare, deforming skin disorder in Hong Kong.
At times life has been harrowing, for years it’s been
exhausting, but never has the laughter stopped for long. Life’s rarely been
split between either laughter or tears; both have existed
simultaneously.
You get knocked down; you get up again.
I know what it is to be unwanted and rejected and be
punished for it; I know what it is to witness punishment dished out and
received by others; I know what it is to feel helpless and feel unable to make
a difference.
But why share this in a book? Because it happened. And
understanding what happened – Auschwitz, abuses and the Baader-Meinhof gang;
love, fear, violence and death – provides a context and a foundation for
understanding how we could help Mui. It also lets people know you can rise
above problems that happen in your life and do some good for others. It’s about
being a survivor not a victim.
My dreams of Australia began when I was a child growing up in
Germany. It was a dream of living somewhere far away, and new, and sunny and
untroubled by my past.
To date I’ve got as far as Hong Kong!
What happened to our daughter, Mui, in the
first three years of her life was often horrendous. Traumatized and hidden away
on the fringes of society, it scars her to this day. Because, the first three
years of life are so important. Yet ever since, we’ve done whatever necessary,
as parents, to ensure she’s lived her life with a smile on her face.
Winning Mui’s trust was both hard fought
and draining, early on. Alone, I would not have coped. My husband, Rog, and I
have confronted and overcome each obstacle placed in our path, together.
We have expected nothing, but have grasped opportunities when they have
presented themselves. And we have embraced all the good times together with
great relish.
But always the extremes: as a family we
have routinely been screamed at in the street; as a family we have relaxed with
Kate Moss in her hotel suite.
Our daughter can’t control her body
temperature because she cannot sweat, and she should be careful in the sun
because of the damage it may cause her skin, and at the age of twenty-two she
suffers from arthritis. Yet, she is now the world’s first rugby referee with
Harlequin Ichthyosis, dashing around the rugby pitches of Hong Kong!
When cyberbullies pushed her to the brink
of suicide, we stuck together as a family, and came through it as a family.
There are scars, of course there are, but everyone’s got issues, both visible
and invisible.
We hope our book, The Girl Behind
The Face, and Facebook page will contribute to giving
courage to others to negotiate
the cruel aspects of everyday life, as well as encourage people to do
some good for someone else.
By Rog & Tina Thomas
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/GirlBehindTheFace
Twitter: @rogthomasblog63
Blog: rogthomasblog63.blogspot.com
Hash-tag: #TheGirlBehindTheFace
