Standing up for Others
When caught up in the early years of Mui’s catastrophic health scares, when we still dreamed of new beginnings in Australia, before we stood up for Mui and adopted her, Tina wheezed and coughed. She visited a doctor in Sai Kung.
Proudly, Tina showed the doctor a photograph of Mui. The doctor’s stare lingered before finally she looked up. ‘Don’t give this child all of your love, Tina… She’s a heartbreaker… Getting involved with this child will be like a very bad roller coaster ride… Forget about her, Tina, and go and make a baby with Rog…’
25 not entirely uneventful years later, we made it as a family to Australia!
Invited to share our Family Initiative at a conference in Melbourne but without the funds to travel, Cathay Pacific (3 business class return tickets) and SINO group stood up for us.
Of the conference, Melissa Muir, of the U.S. District Court, Seattle, writes: “Amazing Mui and her equally amazing parents Tina and Rog presented a powerful reminder of why we work to stop bullying.”
The target of a bully suffers greatly; individuals with special needs cease to interest, their differences accepted; the individuals with special needs rarely have the luxury of becoming insensitive because their challenges repeat.
Too often, people believe they know how others should behave in a crisis or how others should respond to trauma; too often parents of children with special needs eat, sleep and live in the moment. As Tina’s mental health and mine has declined from 25 years of crisis management standing up for Mui and each other, a psychologist in Australia has stood up for us with counselling via Skype. She helped arrange two further Family Talks for us in Australia, at a synagogue and at the charity, Courage to Care.
Tina says: “Being of Jewish heritage is a very important part of my identity. The Nazis did more than kill my birth-family, they destroyed my past. People looked the other way. It is so important to stand up for others, and remember.”
Rabbi Shmuel of Elwood Shule writes: “Thank you Tina, Mui and Rog Thomas – The Girl Behind The Face – for your inspiring, moving and empowering presentation. Thank you for sharing your very personal story of courage, resilience and positivity in the face of unspeakable discrimination, hate and rudeness. You are a remarkable family and are literally changing the world for the better.”
Mike Zervos, CEO of Courage to Care writes: “We had the privilege of having Tina, Rog and Mui Thomas share their family story at Courage to Care. The family shared the many stories of the prejudice and discrimination they have endured. Frankly we were shocked at the appalling way some people react and behave. The audience was enthralled by their positive attitude and their message that each of us can make a difference.
The doctor in Sai Kung was right, it’s been a “roller coaster ride”. She implied that standing up for others was not worth the effort; that we should forget all but self.
Is standing up for others worth it?
You need not ask. It is.
It’s why we want a publisher to publish our family book – modelled on and fleshing out our Family Talks – to be able to continue building a platform to be a support to others.
For more on why we are sharing our Family Initiative please check out our website: https://www.thegirlbehindtheface.com
Liking our Facebook page would help us tremendously. Numbers grow awareness. They bring greater attention to our core message: “Standing up for Others” https://www.facebook.com/GirlBehindTheFace
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